A Strange Illness and a Little Miracle

Again its been almost one month since I last posted and it has been a very unusual month.

About 3 weeks ago I was very agitated but did not know why.  Then 2 weeks ago my body began to go into slow motion: I moved slowly, talked slowly and quietly.  My husband said that I was mumbling and that  it was like I had taken an overdose of tranquilizers even though I am not on tranquilizers.  My brother phoned and when I answered he asked me if I had just gotten up.  I had a very difficult time coming up with words I wanted to use, my brain was very foggy in its thoughts.  I lost desire to eat and forced myself to get something down.  One afternoon I sat in the backyard on a chair dozing most of the afternoon.  Then it became difficult to write or type, had to slowly write the letters, forming their shape like a child would do.  I used to be able to type along with sermons but now that would be impossible as my speed has slowed so much.  Other parts of my body were out of whack as well, something was clearly wrong with my bladder and kidneys.  I lost my balance and started banging into things.

This past week I began to improve, but went to our family physician with a written list of what had happened and after doing an exam he had an appointment made for me the next day at the local hospital for a CT scan on my head.  He also phoned an internist and an appointment was made for two days later.  Most people have to wait weeks or months for either of these, but he considered it important enough to mark it "urgent" so space was made for me.  He said my heart was racing so he ordered blood tests, an EKG and a cultured urinalysis.  I went next door to the clinic and had the EKG, had blood drawn, but I was shocked and a little scared to find blood in my urine.  When I returned to the doctor's office and handed him the results of the EKG, I mentioned that it was scary to find the blood but he said that some of my symptoms were scary.

One Month Away..

My goodness, how time flies.  It has been one month since I made my last blog post and so much has happened.   Illness was in this house, and I was sick with bronchitis and the flu.  My husband came down with the same thing but whereas I was able to stay home, he had to make a trip to the emergency room of the local hospital having breathing problems and abdominal pain.  He was on oxygen and IV fluids while there and they sent him home on antibiotics saying that he also had bronchitis.  In all, I was sick from February 4th until this past week which was end of March, and he was sick from middle of March to this week when we both finally stopped coughing.  Thank the Lord that this is past.

Also, in the middle of March I sadly made the decision to sell my little Chihuahua/toy poodle puppy after taking her for her second vaccine and was told by the vet of all the problems that a tiny dog such as her can face.  I saw future huge vet bills in the picture which would be very difficult to meet being retired and on fixed income, and this combined with the fact that our Shih Tzu had become very depressed while we had her, plus the fact that house-breaking her was going to be a major issue, brought about this decision.  I know that it was the right decision because the day after I listed her she was sold to a very nice lady.  I believe in my heart that the Lord sent this lady.

As well, my daughter-in-law was involved in a car accident which was not her fault.  Someone turned left in front of her and the crash which followed resulted in her car being written off.  I am so very thankful that she was not seriously injured, and that my granddaughter was away at Girl Guide camp and so was not in the car when the crash occurred.  Quite often we hear of accidents in this area where people are killed, so thank the Lord for my daughter-in-law's life being spared.

I confess that I have not been listening to sermons this past month, with all that has gone on I have felt kind of numb, but I know that it is time to get my life back on track and to this end, I will be posting notes to sermons by Paul Dowling again soon.

Lament and Hope

 

Lament and hope, that is the title in my bible above Chapter 3 of the book of Lamentations.  Last Saturday my husband went for a second CT scan to see if the pulmonary nodule they noticed on the first scan is cancer.  Yesterday we drove to Victoria over the Malahat highway, with its gloriously beautiful views of the inlet far below and the Olympic mountains in the distance.  There were RVs pulled over at the viewpoints, admiring the beauty, but I was on the verge of tears the whole time thinking what it will mean if this little nodule is cancer.  Lamenting, that is the word.  Sorrowful and miserable.  Now what kind of an attitude is that for a Christian?  Selfish, that is what it is..  how can I on one hand, pray that the lump is benign and say “thy will be done” and then worry about it?  very hypocritical I would say.

My husband asked me if I wanted to go to the hospital, but I declined saying that I would rather go into the doctor’s office on Sept. 23 to find out the results of the scan.  The hospital is not far away, easy and free parking.  That is the bonus in living in a smaller town.  He had the first scan almost two weeks ago so he knew what to expect and as tests go, it is an easy test.

Now I am feeling much better than I was, and so this is my hope.  I hope that the nodule is benign, but if it is malignant, I pray the Lord will give both of us grace and strength to deal with it and I have no doubt that he will..  because Lamentations 3:21-26 are what I cling to:

“This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.  It is of the LORD’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.  They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.  The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.  The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.  It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.

The photo above is of a beautiful, peaceful sunset a week or so ago looking to the west from our deck, with  the Garry Oak down the street and the distant hills in the background.  It wasn’t as colorful as some of our sunsets can be, but the colors were just so peaceful.. it reminds me that with a stressful day, there is beauty in the sunset, and hope for tomorrow.