Lament and Hope

 

Lament and hope, that is the title in my bible above Chapter 3 of the book of Lamentations.  Last Saturday my husband went for a second CT scan to see if the pulmonary nodule they noticed on the first scan is cancer.  Yesterday we drove to Victoria over the Malahat highway, with its gloriously beautiful views of the inlet far below and the Olympic mountains in the distance.  There were RVs pulled over at the viewpoints, admiring the beauty, but I was on the verge of tears the whole time thinking what it will mean if this little nodule is cancer.  Lamenting, that is the word.  Sorrowful and miserable.  Now what kind of an attitude is that for a Christian?  Selfish, that is what it is..  how can I on one hand, pray that the lump is benign and say “thy will be done” and then worry about it?  very hypocritical I would say.

My husband asked me if I wanted to go to the hospital, but I declined saying that I would rather go into the doctor’s office on Sept. 23 to find out the results of the scan.  The hospital is not far away, easy and free parking.  That is the bonus in living in a smaller town.  He had the first scan almost two weeks ago so he knew what to expect and as tests go, it is an easy test.

Now I am feeling much better than I was, and so this is my hope.  I hope that the nodule is benign, but if it is malignant, I pray the Lord will give both of us grace and strength to deal with it and I have no doubt that he will..  because Lamentations 3:21-26 are what I cling to:

“This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.  It is of the LORD’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.  They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.  The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.  The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.  It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.

The photo above is of a beautiful, peaceful sunset a week or so ago looking to the west from our deck, with  the Garry Oak down the street and the distant hills in the background.  It wasn’t as colorful as some of our sunsets can be, but the colors were just so peaceful.. it reminds me that with a stressful day, there is beauty in the sunset, and hope for tomorrow.