About 3 weeks ago I was very agitated but did not know why. Then 2 weeks ago my body began to go into slow motion: I moved slowly, talked slowly and quietly. My husband said that I was mumbling and that it was like I had taken an overdose of tranquilizers even though I am not on tranquilizers. My brother phoned and when I answered he asked me if I had just gotten up. I had a very difficult time coming up with words I wanted to use, my brain was very foggy in its thoughts. I lost desire to eat and forced myself to get something down. One afternoon I sat in the backyard on a chair dozing most of the afternoon. Then it became difficult to write or type, had to slowly write the letters, forming their shape like a child would do. I used to be able to type along with sermons but now that would be impossible as my speed has slowed so much. Other parts of my body were out of whack as well, something was clearly wrong with my bladder and kidneys. I lost my balance and started banging into things.
This past week I began to improve, but went to our family physician with a written list of what had happened and after doing an exam he had an appointment made for me the next day at the local hospital for a CT scan on my head. He also phoned an internist and an appointment was made for two days later. Most people have to wait weeks or months for either of these, but he considered it important enough to mark it "urgent" so space was made for me. He said my heart was racing so he ordered blood tests, an EKG and a cultured urinalysis. I went next door to the clinic and had the EKG, had blood drawn, but I was shocked and a little scared to find blood in my urine. When I returned to the doctor's office and handed him the results of the EKG, I mentioned that it was scary to find the blood but he said that some of my symptoms were scary.
The next day I went for the CT scan which showed no stroke or tumors. Then the day after that I went to the internist who asked me many questions and did an exam to test motor skills. He said that he could not put a name on what had happened to me, but that if I continued to improve it seemed likely that it was a virus in my brain or the lining of same.
My doctor had mentioned a spinal tap was possible and I was nervous about that but it is interesting to me that where a CT scan will show up tumors or stroke, it will not show infection or inflammation whereas the spinal tap would show inflammation. But the internist said that if I continue to improve the spinal tap or further testing will not be necessary.
My doctor ordered another urinalysis, this time microscopic study. The results showed my red blood cell count to be above 50 where it should be 0-3 or 5. So I am praying that it is only a bladder infection. He also ordered that I have an ultrasound on my kidneys because there are proteins there. This too is a concern but I am not worrying about it. It will probably be a few weeks before I know what is going on regarding these things.
But now the little miracle. Last evening I was out in the backyard with our little dog and as I was standing there I began to think about heaven, and about the possibility of the kidney thing being cancer, about the Lord. As I was thinking on these things I could hear the droning sound of little hummingbird wings. And then a most beautiful sight, a Ruby-Throated Hummingbird, the first I have ever seen, came and hovered in front of my face no more than 2 feet away. I was in awe of its beautiful ruby throat. It stayed for what seemed a long time but the moment was probably slowed in time. I felt like God had sent the little bird just for me. But what was the message? Am I truly sick and going to go to this beautiful place called heaven? or was it that God was saying that as he takes care of the birds, he will also take care of me? Will I recover or will I die? This remains to be seen but I know that death is not to be feared as I am a Christian, saved by grace through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.
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vcg/May 2016
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